Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
