When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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