I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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