...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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