hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
why do cheetos always look like penises
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
