i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
