Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
