he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
