How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
