R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
