Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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