If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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