I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
