well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
