I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
