I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
