At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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