Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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