I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
