so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
