dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
