Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
