A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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