it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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