So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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