idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
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she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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