Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
