True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
