making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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