hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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