two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just high enough for therapy.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize