I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
