Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
why is half of my head shaved?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
