Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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