I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
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Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
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Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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