I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
