dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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