she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
