the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
