Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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