Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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