My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
