The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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