You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
