I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
