you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
