my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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