speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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