i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
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I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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