Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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