Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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