Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
