I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
