I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
