maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Can I color on your dick again?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
