guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
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2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize