It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
