he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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