Fuck appropriateness.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
